This is a working list:
Horchata
meditation
dessert
music
being in the now
not taking life too seriously
patience
Friday, June 28, 2013
Bad Joke
So a Wallstreet banker says, "I really wish I could have a job right now."
A vagrant overhears him and says, "Serves you right, economy wrecker!"
And the banker says, "No, a hand job, you idiot. Tsk! Why would _I_ be out of a job?"
Whoa
Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little shits in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little cunts that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it.
Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprinkle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Maam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”
And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn't defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.
-----------------------------
This is just a repost story.
Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the fucking skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprinkle of blood on the little shit’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little cunt he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “SHIT! SHIT!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “FUCK! MAYBE HE DIDN'T GET IT! FUCK!.” By now, the kid is scared shitless and starts crying, and instantly, Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid.
Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Maam, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m FUCKING HIV POSITIVE.”
And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just fucked up big time because his mom isn't defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my shit from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just s we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the cunt she is.
I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob.
-----------------------------
This is just a repost story.
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Tim Burton
I love Tim Burton. He's so unique, and he makes dark things so beautiful. The Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride... 100% wow. He captures the dark parts of us and weaves a story of beauty for them which makes them feel validated. For example, Corpse Bride has a lot of loneliness, rejection, jealosy, and it's about resolving these dark emotions. The story starts so sad, and I like that because it's somehow more honest and true to life.
Nobody else is doing that much.
Nobody else is doing that much.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Fashion
This is from a world famous fashion school in the UK (St Martins graduates show off their stuff by doing a catwalk fashion show. This is the 'future' of fashion.
Yup, that's a fish. Animal rights groups are in an uproar. Wearable pets is a little inhumane and just isn't a good idea, but this gets me thinking....
Quick! Help me do some hip crowdfunding for wearyourpets.com - It's time to embrace our fashion future! At my website, you can buy a fashionable accessory 'bird walk' that just sits on your shoulders, giving your bird the luxury experience of walking completely around you head. Yes, that's a full 360 degree bird walk. It will also have a designer poop chute that's actually a teflon cloak so bird shit just slides right onto your floor...
You know, I thought that purse-doggies were a bad idea, but now I'm thinking we should probably just sell purses with the doggies ALREADY INSIDE of them. A masterful pairing of pootch and handbag, come to 'Doggiebag'. My best customers will be trophy wives who are paired with sports cars and big hair. Come on people, let's EVOLVE your fashion. You're so drab! Oh, you need a purse doggie!
I hate high fashion... A picture is worth a thousand angry words right now.
Yo dude, we're gonna go clubbing. You coming? Yeah, lemme put this... thing in my mouth and get that funny hat. Yeah, I'm going to pick up chicks now.
True fashion... makes you look good, elegant. It wraps you in a layer of beauty and sophistication. Not vulgar.
After your poor victims complete their cat walks and return home, they put on some real clothing suitable for public... and they look well enough dressed that they could attract a member of the opposite sex or at least not embarrass their friends by being seen together. At that point, they become fashionable, and they are ready to be seen... but who sees them then, the show's already over.
High Fashion. Rather than my eyes being opened in any way or being attracted due to some kind of beauty and creativity, I want to look away in revulsion. If I ever was directing a movie and I needed something terrible for a nightmare sequence, I do believe that I would hire a graduate of St Martins fashion university.
Yup, that's a fish. Animal rights groups are in an uproar. Wearable pets is a little inhumane and just isn't a good idea, but this gets me thinking....
Quick! Help me do some hip crowdfunding for wearyourpets.com - It's time to embrace our fashion future! At my website, you can buy a fashionable accessory 'bird walk' that just sits on your shoulders, giving your bird the luxury experience of walking completely around you head. Yes, that's a full 360 degree bird walk. It will also have a designer poop chute that's actually a teflon cloak so bird shit just slides right onto your floor...
You know, I thought that purse-doggies were a bad idea, but now I'm thinking we should probably just sell purses with the doggies ALREADY INSIDE of them. A masterful pairing of pootch and handbag, come to 'Doggiebag'. My best customers will be trophy wives who are paired with sports cars and big hair. Come on people, let's EVOLVE your fashion. You're so drab! Oh, you need a purse doggie!
I hate high fashion... A picture is worth a thousand angry words right now.
Yo dude, we're gonna go clubbing. You coming? Yeah, lemme put this... thing in my mouth and get that funny hat. Yeah, I'm going to pick up chicks now.
True fashion... makes you look good, elegant. It wraps you in a layer of beauty and sophistication. Not vulgar.
After your poor victims complete their cat walks and return home, they put on some real clothing suitable for public... and they look well enough dressed that they could attract a member of the opposite sex or at least not embarrass their friends by being seen together. At that point, they become fashionable, and they are ready to be seen... but who sees them then, the show's already over.
High Fashion. Rather than my eyes being opened in any way or being attracted due to some kind of beauty and creativity, I want to look away in revulsion. If I ever was directing a movie and I needed something terrible for a nightmare sequence, I do believe that I would hire a graduate of St Martins fashion university.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Things I have done - WIP
Actions can define a person. What kind of a person are you? This is me...
A friend I haven't seen in years was going to have her son taken away from her by the state unless she could pay rent. I paid her rent twice.
I used to have a large tub, so heavy it takes two people to lift it when full. I would fill this with alcoholic drinks and take it whenever a friend was having a party. If I got hungry, I would also leave the party and return with hamburgers for everybody so the party had food.
When I moved to China, I sold a car for $2.00 to a friend who has been in a car accident, and did not have a reliable car.
I have sang for audiences of over two hundred people.
I have performed comedic performances in plays for hundreds of people.
A girlfriend broke up with me and was in the cast of a play. The night following the final performance, everybody had pizza, and we watched a tape of the performance. After this, anyone who wanted could borrow the tape, one at a time. - I walked three miles in the cold rain to bring her some leftover pizza, and the tape so she could see the performance at home. I knocked on her door and ran. I left a note with the pizza which had words left from everybody wishing her well. It also had our finger prints instead of signatures. (it was a murder mysery, and of course, it was a mystery to know who left the pizza).
I went in to a bank. One of the employees was crying. She was crying so hard that it was clear that someone may have died. I went to a Hallmark store nearby and got a card. I left a message wishing her well, and reminding her that people care. I went back to the bank, and requested the same teller I had previously. She was nervous that she had done something wrong. I stepped close and secretly gave her the card, then explained that I saw her coworker crying. I said, "Write something nice, sign it, pass it around." She understood instantly. I was late to work that because this was more important.
I met a girl who had lost a loved one to suicide. My brother was lost to suicide. I wrote her a poem explaining that she isn't alone. She didn't know how to comfort anyone else, the poem contained what I had learned about comforting people, and being comforted, after my brother died. The easiest way to be strong is to be strong for others. Once you start that, you will have untold strength from a source you didn't know existed.
Now, I'm just going to define myself by some less noble actions...
I had a flock of white racing pigeons. They return home when released. I ran a simple business. Give me $50, and pigeons will be released as part of your wedding ceremony.
I played a video game and found out how to work the market by reselling things. I began to sell for real money and paid for college. Later, I hosted a forum with advice and training about doing online sales. I wan invited to become a business partner with someone in China. I packed my life into a bag and left for China five years ago. We started a VC company together. Later, I was asked to join another company. I had an entry level position. My work improved their profit line by $250,000 per year.
I have hosted free house parties. This is a way for people to have fun, relax, and make friends. I have done this weekly for years. I am usually so busy taking care of people or answering simple questions like "why do you do this" that I have made very few friends from this. I still do it. I have spent thousands of dollars doing this, and I have given a good experience to over 1,000 people in total. I have invested in KTV equipment so people can sing and play their own music. (better than most house parties that only have beer and loud music.)
I have hosted free English corners so that Chinese people can learn English. I did this long before I wanted to be an English teacher. I have worked two jobs at once so that I can teach English on the weekends for a friend who needed a teacher who could be trusted to provide quality.
More about me...
I dated a girl for two years. I never held her hand or kissed her. She just needed a friend. I never pressured her for more. On her birthday, I bought her a ___read and find out______. When presenting the gift infront of an audience of friends, I announced that I got her a "BOOM BOX"... "But don't worry, it's an old one, and I got a good deal on it." She looked so embarrassed and mortified. Who gives a boom box as a gift, especially an old one? I then gave her the gift, which was small enough to fit in one hand. As she unwrapped it, she saw it was a wind-up music box that played the song "You've got a friend in me".
A flatmate who works at the same company got drunk. I stayed with her for over an hour until she was ready for a taxi. I bought a bowl in case the taxi made her puke. She followed me into my bedroom. I tucked her in. She followed me again. I tucked her in again, and stayed with her.
A girl that had a crush on me got drunk and wanted to have sex. She was on top of me and grinding. Everything inside of me said yes. I told her we would wait until she was sober to see if she felt the same way. That's like saying yes later. She sobered up, felt embarrassed, and went home.
A girl I was dating and getting close to was going to have sex for the first time with me. Every man wants sex, most would say yes without ever questioning it. I knew that if I did this, she would become filled with emotions and would become very attached to me. I wasn't that attached to her, and I didn't want our relationship to be out of balance. In fact, I had been losing interest for the last few weeks. In the same way that a girl can be "not ready", I was not ready. If I was going to break up with her, I wasn't going to have sex first and then break her heart. I did what few other men would do. I told her and broke up with her, no sex. Who does that? Can you think of one man in your life who would have turned down sex because he cared about someone's feelings?
Still reading?
Things I enjoy
Sociology, psychology, philosophy, emergent technology, science fiction, nonfiction, music (any), entertainment (singing, acting, dancing, writing, stand-up performance, drama)
Things I don't enjoy
Without going too much further, it's easy to see that I am kind of brainy. I'm not smart, I'm not knowledgeable, and not weird about it, just brainy. I.e. I like anything that relates to thinking. I like people who think and create.
A friend I haven't seen in years was going to have her son taken away from her by the state unless she could pay rent. I paid her rent twice.
I used to have a large tub, so heavy it takes two people to lift it when full. I would fill this with alcoholic drinks and take it whenever a friend was having a party. If I got hungry, I would also leave the party and return with hamburgers for everybody so the party had food.
When I moved to China, I sold a car for $2.00 to a friend who has been in a car accident, and did not have a reliable car.
I have sang for audiences of over two hundred people.
I have performed comedic performances in plays for hundreds of people.
A girlfriend broke up with me and was in the cast of a play. The night following the final performance, everybody had pizza, and we watched a tape of the performance. After this, anyone who wanted could borrow the tape, one at a time. - I walked three miles in the cold rain to bring her some leftover pizza, and the tape so she could see the performance at home. I knocked on her door and ran. I left a note with the pizza which had words left from everybody wishing her well. It also had our finger prints instead of signatures. (it was a murder mysery, and of course, it was a mystery to know who left the pizza).
I went in to a bank. One of the employees was crying. She was crying so hard that it was clear that someone may have died. I went to a Hallmark store nearby and got a card. I left a message wishing her well, and reminding her that people care. I went back to the bank, and requested the same teller I had previously. She was nervous that she had done something wrong. I stepped close and secretly gave her the card, then explained that I saw her coworker crying. I said, "Write something nice, sign it, pass it around." She understood instantly. I was late to work that because this was more important.
I met a girl who had lost a loved one to suicide. My brother was lost to suicide. I wrote her a poem explaining that she isn't alone. She didn't know how to comfort anyone else, the poem contained what I had learned about comforting people, and being comforted, after my brother died. The easiest way to be strong is to be strong for others. Once you start that, you will have untold strength from a source you didn't know existed.
Now, I'm just going to define myself by some less noble actions...
I had a flock of white racing pigeons. They return home when released. I ran a simple business. Give me $50, and pigeons will be released as part of your wedding ceremony.
I played a video game and found out how to work the market by reselling things. I began to sell for real money and paid for college. Later, I hosted a forum with advice and training about doing online sales. I wan invited to become a business partner with someone in China. I packed my life into a bag and left for China five years ago. We started a VC company together. Later, I was asked to join another company. I had an entry level position. My work improved their profit line by $250,000 per year.
I have hosted free house parties. This is a way for people to have fun, relax, and make friends. I have done this weekly for years. I am usually so busy taking care of people or answering simple questions like "why do you do this" that I have made very few friends from this. I still do it. I have spent thousands of dollars doing this, and I have given a good experience to over 1,000 people in total. I have invested in KTV equipment so people can sing and play their own music. (better than most house parties that only have beer and loud music.)
I have hosted free English corners so that Chinese people can learn English. I did this long before I wanted to be an English teacher. I have worked two jobs at once so that I can teach English on the weekends for a friend who needed a teacher who could be trusted to provide quality.
More about me...
I dated a girl for two years. I never held her hand or kissed her. She just needed a friend. I never pressured her for more. On her birthday, I bought her a ___read and find out______. When presenting the gift infront of an audience of friends, I announced that I got her a "BOOM BOX"... "But don't worry, it's an old one, and I got a good deal on it." She looked so embarrassed and mortified. Who gives a boom box as a gift, especially an old one? I then gave her the gift, which was small enough to fit in one hand. As she unwrapped it, she saw it was a wind-up music box that played the song "You've got a friend in me".
A flatmate who works at the same company got drunk. I stayed with her for over an hour until she was ready for a taxi. I bought a bowl in case the taxi made her puke. She followed me into my bedroom. I tucked her in. She followed me again. I tucked her in again, and stayed with her.
A girl that had a crush on me got drunk and wanted to have sex. She was on top of me and grinding. Everything inside of me said yes. I told her we would wait until she was sober to see if she felt the same way. That's like saying yes later. She sobered up, felt embarrassed, and went home.
A girl I was dating and getting close to was going to have sex for the first time with me. Every man wants sex, most would say yes without ever questioning it. I knew that if I did this, she would become filled with emotions and would become very attached to me. I wasn't that attached to her, and I didn't want our relationship to be out of balance. In fact, I had been losing interest for the last few weeks. In the same way that a girl can be "not ready", I was not ready. If I was going to break up with her, I wasn't going to have sex first and then break her heart. I did what few other men would do. I told her and broke up with her, no sex. Who does that? Can you think of one man in your life who would have turned down sex because he cared about someone's feelings?
Still reading?
Things I enjoy
Sociology, psychology, philosophy, emergent technology, science fiction, nonfiction, music (any), entertainment (singing, acting, dancing, writing, stand-up performance, drama)
Things I don't enjoy
- When a person takes more than ten seconds to fully express a single thought that could (and should) be expressed in five of less. (When someone takes FOREVER to get to the point.)
- Lack of order, organization, logic, or efficiency.
- Improper formatting.
- People who fail to enjoy or understand art, or anything abstract.
- Forgetful people (especially if they refuse to write anything down)
- Repeating myself when forgetful people refuse to write anything down
Without going too much further, it's easy to see that I am kind of brainy. I'm not smart, I'm not knowledgeable, and not weird about it, just brainy. I.e. I like anything that relates to thinking. I like people who think and create.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Movies that girls can't shut up about
There's two movies that American girls can't shut up about, as two men they will forever (openly) fantasize about
'Dirty Dancing' (with Patrick Swayze) and Labyrinth (with the dude with the crazy hair).
That's what I told Hui. She'd never seen either of these, so tonight we started with Dirty Dancing.
Last week, we saw 'Citizen Kane' which had a 100% approval rating from 'Rotten Tomatoes' which aggregates movie reviews from the most widely known critics in the world. i.e. the likes of Siskel and Ebert. I refuse to say 'Siskel and Ropert', because... who the hell is Ropert? I grew up with Ebert, thank you very much. Well Citizen Kane had a 100% review rating, and the movie totally sucked balls. It represents what's wrong with artsy movies, as do directors like Stanley Kubrick. We recently saw this movie called, 'Sleeping Beauty', and it also sucked balls, and I was convinced I'd see 'Stanly Kubrick' in the credits, so I watched the credits and finally googled it. Don't watch either of these movies expecting that they'll get good later, they don't. 'Sleeping Beauty' had a 50% rating, when it should have been something TERRIBLE like a 10%.
From now on, I'm just going to watch movies according to what girls consider to be unforgettable and just can't shut up about.
So tomorrow, we're going to watch Labyrinth with David Bowie!
'Dirty Dancing' (with Patrick Swayze) and Labyrinth (with the dude with the crazy hair).
That's what I told Hui. She'd never seen either of these, so tonight we started with Dirty Dancing.
Last week, we saw 'Citizen Kane' which had a 100% approval rating from 'Rotten Tomatoes' which aggregates movie reviews from the most widely known critics in the world. i.e. the likes of Siskel and Ebert. I refuse to say 'Siskel and Ropert', because... who the hell is Ropert? I grew up with Ebert, thank you very much. Well Citizen Kane had a 100% review rating, and the movie totally sucked balls. It represents what's wrong with artsy movies, as do directors like Stanley Kubrick. We recently saw this movie called, 'Sleeping Beauty', and it also sucked balls, and I was convinced I'd see 'Stanly Kubrick' in the credits, so I watched the credits and finally googled it. Don't watch either of these movies expecting that they'll get good later, they don't. 'Sleeping Beauty' had a 50% rating, when it should have been something TERRIBLE like a 10%.
From now on, I'm just going to watch movies according to what girls consider to be unforgettable and just can't shut up about.
So tomorrow, we're going to watch Labyrinth with David Bowie!
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