http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1QFRJ7r89w
Thanks, Alita!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
true love and soul mates
People ask me if I believe in 'true love'
And I want to refer them to a linguist for reality therapy.
OK, love is love.
There is no artificial or fake love.
The color blue... is blue. It comes in many shades, but there is no TRUE blue.
So why should there be "true love"?
See where I'm going with this? The phrase "True love" fucks us over.
It gives us this idea that we should live our lives seeking true blue.
As if we should just seek for something that doesn't exist.
We should seek our 'soul mate'
That's more bad language. More 'impossible'.
Nobody is perfect, and no love is perfect.
OK?
Think of yourself and your parents and any brothers or sisters.
You fight and you hate. I'll bet you don't even want to live together forever, am I right?
Your love is not perfect, and it never will be, because it can't be.
Why? Because you're all human, ok. That's why.
And guess what.. humans aren't perfect.
You need to wake up and realize several fundamental things:
1. There is no true love. (love is love is love, nothing else. Don't modify it with any adjectives and then say there's some new kind that people don't know from birth, and then don't get all high and mighty with me telling me I don't know my shit because I'm single!
Never disqualify someone as ignorant about love because they are single, they might know way more than you do. Besides, it's really condescending. "Well if you haven't found true love, then what could YOU possibly know?)
2. There is no soul mate (there is only good matches for you, and NONE of them are perfect. Not to mention that a 'soul' or 'soul matching' has nothing to do with any of this. When was the last time someone walked up to you, eyed your breasts and said, "Sister, I like your soul! I feel a compatibility coming on.")
You develop entire libraries of inter-connected and supporting ideas about 'true love' and 'soul mates' and you live your life hoping and acting weird, missing good opportunities with good people... because you're waiting for perfection and expecting something that doesn't exist.
You're going to be searching a long time, I can tell you that much.
And you're going to be unhappy with every single lover you ever have. You will look back on them with this harsh judgment about not being a perfect soul mate, or not giving you "true love". As if. See how silly you are? You got these goggles on that prevent you from interpreting reality. So what's real now?
I've known this long enough to settle down with the idea that I will love a lot of girls in my life. I'm never going to judge them by thinking, "Well this one wasn't true love, and that one wasn't true love, and that one was imperfect..." I am going to love them with a pure kind of love that you have never achieved because YOU still got broken reality goggles.
You still think you'll only fall for one person, a soul mate. And that when you do, it's going to feel different.
It won't feel different. It's going to feel sexy and friendly, like it always does. That's nature's work.
The only "soul mate" qualification is to have a working relationship that doesn't end.
But even that can result in you judging people as having some kind of false or substandard love.
"It didn't work out, so he was a bad lover."
No he wasn't. He held you close, and did everything that a lover does. Took care of you. He cooked you breakfast. Drop the harsh reality. He was just fine. Why did it end? I don't know. I'm not you.
I look back on my exes and mmmm. They were scrumptious. They were perfect. And you know what? I still love them and we sometimes get together with them when the timing is good. That's a special kind of love you can't have if you're busy judging the past, and judging everybody against an image of perfection.
Join me. Understand "pure love". Pure is the only adjective that I approve of attaching to the word love. It really filters out the confusing instead of adding confusion to it. Mmm. Language is everything, it influences your philosophy. Set your mind free. Embrace pure love.
And I want to refer them to a linguist for reality therapy.
OK, love is love.
There is no artificial or fake love.
The color blue... is blue. It comes in many shades, but there is no TRUE blue.
So why should there be "true love"?
See where I'm going with this? The phrase "True love" fucks us over.
It gives us this idea that we should live our lives seeking true blue.
As if we should just seek for something that doesn't exist.
We should seek our 'soul mate'
That's more bad language. More 'impossible'.
Nobody is perfect, and no love is perfect.
OK?
Think of yourself and your parents and any brothers or sisters.
You fight and you hate. I'll bet you don't even want to live together forever, am I right?
Your love is not perfect, and it never will be, because it can't be.
Why? Because you're all human, ok. That's why.
And guess what.. humans aren't perfect.
You need to wake up and realize several fundamental things:
1. There is no true love. (love is love is love, nothing else. Don't modify it with any adjectives and then say there's some new kind that people don't know from birth, and then don't get all high and mighty with me telling me I don't know my shit because I'm single!
Never disqualify someone as ignorant about love because they are single, they might know way more than you do. Besides, it's really condescending. "Well if you haven't found true love, then what could YOU possibly know?)
2. There is no soul mate (there is only good matches for you, and NONE of them are perfect. Not to mention that a 'soul' or 'soul matching' has nothing to do with any of this. When was the last time someone walked up to you, eyed your breasts and said, "Sister, I like your soul! I feel a compatibility coming on.")
You develop entire libraries of inter-connected and supporting ideas about 'true love' and 'soul mates' and you live your life hoping and acting weird, missing good opportunities with good people... because you're waiting for perfection and expecting something that doesn't exist.
You're going to be searching a long time, I can tell you that much.
And you're going to be unhappy with every single lover you ever have. You will look back on them with this harsh judgment about not being a perfect soul mate, or not giving you "true love". As if. See how silly you are? You got these goggles on that prevent you from interpreting reality. So what's real now?
I've known this long enough to settle down with the idea that I will love a lot of girls in my life. I'm never going to judge them by thinking, "Well this one wasn't true love, and that one wasn't true love, and that one was imperfect..." I am going to love them with a pure kind of love that you have never achieved because YOU still got broken reality goggles.
You still think you'll only fall for one person, a soul mate. And that when you do, it's going to feel different.
It won't feel different. It's going to feel sexy and friendly, like it always does. That's nature's work.
The only "soul mate" qualification is to have a working relationship that doesn't end.
But even that can result in you judging people as having some kind of false or substandard love.
"It didn't work out, so he was a bad lover."
No he wasn't. He held you close, and did everything that a lover does. Took care of you. He cooked you breakfast. Drop the harsh reality. He was just fine. Why did it end? I don't know. I'm not you.
I look back on my exes and mmmm. They were scrumptious. They were perfect. And you know what? I still love them and we sometimes get together with them when the timing is good. That's a special kind of love you can't have if you're busy judging the past, and judging everybody against an image of perfection.
Join me. Understand "pure love". Pure is the only adjective that I approve of attaching to the word love. It really filters out the confusing instead of adding confusion to it. Mmm. Language is everything, it influences your philosophy. Set your mind free. Embrace pure love.
Shanghai
Opportunity came knocking. I'll be moving there next month.
I was just getting settled into life at Nanjing. This is good though.
I just finished watching Season 6 of 'Weeds'. Wow, talk about emotional. Amazing ending and edge-of-your-seat writing.
I met a girl, like her. She's a Westerner, which takes a load off.
She has some emotional stuff about an ex boyfriend.
I've met like... a million girls like that in my life.
History does a number on the female brain.
I was just getting settled into life at Nanjing. This is good though.
I just finished watching Season 6 of 'Weeds'. Wow, talk about emotional. Amazing ending and edge-of-your-seat writing.
I met a girl, like her. She's a Westerner, which takes a load off.
She has some emotional stuff about an ex boyfriend.
I've met like... a million girls like that in my life.
History does a number on the female brain.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)